wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
last night I used snow as a chaser
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
