I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
