dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
