it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Drake has all the answers
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
