I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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