I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
