bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
