Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
