I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
