Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
