I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
