There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
