dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
