I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
