Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
