I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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