apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
