I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
