last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
