i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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