I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
