So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
