I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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