I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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