Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
