Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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