I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
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There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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