Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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