i think i have two assholes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
