girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
