so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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