you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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