its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
