he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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