Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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