my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This baby is an asshole
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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