There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
