I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
