I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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