i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
