Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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