Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
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Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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