he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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