You're my little dorito
Who did Billy Mays play for?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
