so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
