I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
