After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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