dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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