I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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