Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
