Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Screwed.edu
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
