i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
