Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
