Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
