We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
