i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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