He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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