We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
