speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize