Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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