you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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