so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
