i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
