Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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