when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
