Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
