Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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