what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
