I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
