I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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