i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
