His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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